Work can be stressful and overwhelming—even in jobs, we love. Add in personal life pressures, and work challenges can feel much more significant than they really are.
We can pretend that our professional and personal lives can be neatly placed in two distinct compartments, but life doesn’t work that way. We are one person, and work and personal always overlap.
I recently had a client who had a very full plate. She had only been in her role for six months and was still establishing her credibility; she had performance challenges with one of her direct reports, and her boss had high expectations for her business unit. She didn’t yet have the talent around her that she needed, but delivering results was non-negotiable.
To add to this, my client was adjusting to single parenting of a teenager, and following a recent episode of bullying, her daughter didn’t want to go to school. Most mornings were filled with emotionally fuelled negotiations, and she frequently dropped a teary teen off at school. Although the school had committed to sorting out the issue, it didn’t reduce the feelings of concern she felt as she drove to work.
My client felt like she was juggling a million balls and dropping more than she wanted to. She felt that her personal matters were not only in the back of her mind, but they took thinking time during her work-day and made the work challenges seem bigger. She came to me for help on how to manage what she called “my chaotic life.”
Recognising signs of overwhelm early on, and implementing self-care strategies, can help prevent burnout both in your personal and professional life. This article will focus on self-care and what this means, highlight a few signs of overwhelm and possible strategies which could work for you.
Self-care? What’s that about?
According to the Oxford dictionary, self-care is defined as “the practice of taking action to preserve or improve one’s own health.” It is regularly and proactively taking the time to do something you enjoy that nourishes you mentally, emotionally and physically. As crucial as self-care is, it frequently doesn’t make the top of our to-do list and therefore is not prioritised as it should be.
Remember, there is NOTHING selfish about focusing on and protecting your wellbeing. In fact, when you nurture your wellbeing, you will be better equipped to help nurture those around you. I cannot help but think of the safety briefing before we fly where the flight attendant says, “Place the oxygen mask on yourself before you help others!”
With the hopes of encouraging you to make your wellbeing a priority, here are some signs that you may be overwhelmed, and some self-care strategies to help you address each one. This list is by no means exhaustive, however, highlights some of the common symptoms and signs that I see when clients come for help and advice.
#1 You are having difficulty sleeping, or you are sleeping too much.
When you are overwhelmed, your sleeping patterns are likely to change. You may notice you are restless throughout the night, and getting a good night’s sleep is difficult, despite how tired you may feel when you go to bed. Alternatively, you may be sleeping too much and find yourself sleeping in too long or wishing to spend any downtime asleep. This will start to take a toll on you, given sleep is essential for re-energising the brain, and a healthy sleep schedule is vital for maintaining one’s mental health.
Self-care strategies you can try.
• Establish a night-time routine and stick with it. Try going to bed and waking up at a specific time each day. This may take some trial and error before you’ve found what works best for you
• Limit alcohol. Alcohol can reduce the quality of your sleep by disrupting your sleep patterns, which may lead to oversleeping
• Do not take your device (phone, laptop, etc.) to bed. Research has shown the blue light emitted from our devices reduces the production of our sleep hormone, melatonin. Try to be ‘device free’ for at least an hour before you go to bed so that your brain can begin resting and start to initiate sleep
• Practice relaxation exercises before bed to help calm the mind, such as meditation, yoga, progressive muscle relaxation, etc.
• Consume a soothing drink before bed, such as a chamomile tea. Avoid caffeinated beverages such as coffee and black tea
• Speak with your doctor about your poor sleeping patterns if you are concerned and if they persist
#2. You are always tired, no matter how much sleep you get.
When we are overwhelmed, our brain is in overdrive, and essentially our stress response is switched on most of the time. This can feel exhausting and may leave you feeling tired all the time. This fatigue may persist even after you have had some sleep.
Self-care strategies you can try.
• All tips from #1
• Eat healthy foods that give you energy and help fuel the brain
• Exercise may help to tire you out enough physically to help you sleep and get a better night’s rest
#3. You are feeling anxious more often than not.
You may be feeling anxious most of the day and think that you cannot calm down or relax. You may feel this anxiousness in your body (rapid heart rate, sweating, having a ‘knot’ in your stomach) or in your mind (racing thoughts, feeling worried about things most of the time, feeling distracted and not able to focus).
Self-care strategies you can try.
• Tips from #1 & 2 will also apply here
• Taking small breaks throughout your day will help ease your nerves. For example, go for a short walk around the office or around the block or grab a healthy snack and spend 5-10 minutes alone while eating it
• Limit or avoid caffeine and alcohol
• Find time to exercise as it helps relieve stress and improves mental health. We produce feel-good hormones such as beta-endorphins when we exercise, which improves our mood. Not to mention exercise improves our cardiovascular fitness which has significant long-term health benefits. Being active can be a walk around the block or using the stairs instead of the elevator. It doesn’t have to be a hectic running schedule or two hours at the gym
#4. You have a loss of appetite or you are overeating.
When you are feeling overwhelmed, you may notice a change in your appetite, either under-eating or over-eating. Perhaps you don’t have time to eat during the day and find yourself raiding the fridge or pantry for those unhealthy snacks when you get home.
Self-care strategies you can try.
• Try packing healthy lunch/snacks and take them to work. This reduces the chances of you raiding the biscuit jar in the tea-room at 4pm because you are starving because you didn’t have time to pick up a healthy lunch.
• Try establishing an eating routine, by eating at regular times each day, and sticking to that. Your brain will learn to follow this within a week or two
• With the loss of appetite, try eating smaller healthy snacks throughout the day, and eating a bigger meal when you’re feeling most hungry
• Eat healthy foods that give you the most nutrition and energy. Often these will make you feel full for longer (i.e. healthy fats and protein)
• Limit caffeine intake as this will also add to the loss of appetite
• Exercise, and reducing your feelings of anxiousness (with the tips mentioned above), can also help you establish and maintain healthy eating habits
#5. You are moody / emotional.
You may feel more emotional than usual, or that your moods are up and down. Perhaps it reminds you of your teenage years. You’ll be on edge emotionally, less patient, more critical and may lash out at individuals easily. Frequently we manage to keep our emotions under control at work; however, our family can often bear the brunt of our cranky emotions at home. Research has shown that parents who take their stress out at home can impact the mental and emotional wellbeing of their children.
Self-care strategies you can try.
• Speak with your doctor if you are feeling depressed or anxious, or are concerned about your overall emotional state
• Speak to your manager, HR or someone you trust at work and let them know that you are struggling with what is on your plate
• Call the Employee Assistance Program for advice if your workplace has one
• Confide in a good friend, it helps to feel heard
• Try counselling. There are free counselling services available at your local community health centre if money is a concern
• Call Lifeline on 13 11 14 if you are having suicidal thoughts
The takeaway.
Focus on prioritising your own self-care! Implementing much-needed self-care strategies will help you to feel more energised, will reduce the effects of your feelings of overwhelm and help get you back on track to being physically, mentally and emotionally healthy.
